Little Man

It's really amazing how much you can feel for a person who isn't even here yet. At 22 weeks in the womb, he's really just a concept. Someone I haven't met yet. But he's my nephew, and there's something wrong with his heart. When he's born he will need surgery. It's a lot to ask of this little man, a lot he will have to go through at such an early age.

My sister is strong, she's handling it well, I think. I know she will be an awesome mother. The father, her boyfriend, who, I'll admit I wasn't really crazy about when they first got together, has been really great to her through her pregnancy and all of the stress so far. I'm glad.

I didn't really expect tears to come to my eyes when I found out about little man....and I'm just his aunt. I am still amazed at the miracle of motherhood, I have no idea what it's like but one day (no hurry!) I would like to.

One thing is for certain, though. He's not alone. He may be just 22 weeks in the womb. Someone I've yet to meet. But I will. Already he is so loved by everyone around him.

The Youngest, Shortest, Eldest Sibling

Yesterday was my little brother's birthday. Well, Monday. Technically its Wednesday now, to the rest of the world. But in my world, I haven't gone to sleep yet, so its still Tuesday to me.

He's 17 now. SEVENTEEN! I don't know what it is that makes me expect him to stay the same little boy he always was. I was there when he was born, I remember waking up in the middle of the night the day he was born. I remember babysitting him when he was little. Then in his preteens he was the biggest brat. But whether it was this, or that, he's a junior in high school now and one of the smartest, most generous, thoughtful and talented kids in his school. Which is a 13 hour drive away from here. :( Clearly, visits are rare and I miss him. But...I'm very proud of him.

My little sister is four months pregnant. I say little, but she's only 18 months younger. It took me a long time to put that into perspective, growing up. She always did everything first. She's got more guts than me, I guess. She got braces first, dyed her hair, got contacts, (even dated!), bought a house last year, and now she's pregnant. It's a boy, by the way. One thing I did do before her was get married. I'm thrilled for her. I'm so excited to be an aunt!

Honestly, I don't know where I was going with all of this. Just thinking, I guess. Something that has been on my mind lately, is I'm not the person I want to be. That's nobody's fault really, but my own. So, now that I've realized that, I've been working on it. One of the things I was really excited about when I started this blog was being able to be myself, unfiltered, and uncensored. But I didn't really follow that. I watch what I say...and sometimes I say nothing at all. Because I know some of the people who read them, and I don't want my thoughts and feelings to be used against me.

It's funny how different siblings turn out to be sometimes. Or, in other cases, how similar. I know there are never any "favorites," but sometimes, its just obvious that some personalities and/or interests of parents and children mesh better than with others. I guess. I don't really mesh. I've admired both my brother and sister for being able to speak their mind to my parents, and to be themselves. It always amazed me how better liked they seemed to be growing up than I. But then again "The grass is always greener," huh?

Wow, I'm all over the place with my thoughts today, aren't I? Welcome to my mind....

Me-Dates!

I love calendars. I love big ones with pretty pictures to post on the wall. I also like the little ones you can set on your desk, and tear off a page and it has something new for you every single day. Its a mini treat for myself. Its fun. Last year, my dad gave me a book a day calendar, and it was great. I got a lot of great books to add to my "to read" list! This year, I found something fun as I was checking out in Barnes and Noble. I just got it recently, so, I'm having to catch up.

Friday, January 16 in "The Bad Girl's Rage-A-Day 2009 Daily Calendar":

"Today's to-do: Take yourself on a me date!
You'll never be bored when you're dating yourself! Before you can fall in love with someone else, you have to fall hard for yourself. And that can take time. So go ahead and start the long, luscious process of self-seduction."


Now, this calendar has some suggestions of their own, some involving bubbly, some involving mirrors and feathers and bras...

However, I'm thinking since the Hallmark holiday V-Day is coming up soon, why not treat yourself?

Some of my Me-Date ideas:

Spend the entire day in Barnes and Noble and AC Moore, then follow it up with a nice dinner. Not just a salad, either. On a Me-Date, who cares if you eat all of the rolls?

For a warm-weather day, definitely go for a nice, not too hard hike up to some waterfalls, pack a picnic. Read. Take pictures. Draw. Watch the birds. If its a private waterfall, go skinny dipping or sunbathe. If its public, get wet, but keep the clothes on.

Bubble bath. Good book. Something sparkling in a pretty wine glass. 'nuff said.

Chick Flick Night.

Mani/Pedi... then shoe shopping!



I'm definitely going to make some time for some Me-Dates! What are your Me-Date ideas?

Blank....

I've gotten onto blogger almost every night, checking out other blogs. My faves are listed on the sidebar, check them out. While I've not been writing much, they have some interesting things to say. I've wanted to write, but some of the things that are on my mind lately, I haven't been able to figure out.... and some of the things that I have figured out, I'm not sure if I want to post them online for the world to see. Not like the world reads my little blog, but.....

I apologize for the lameness of this blog, but you gotta start somewhere. That's something I notice about myself. If I get out of the habit of doing something, like writing, it makes it harder to get back into the habit. Even if its something that I want to do, if I'm out of the habit, I lack inspiration. Does anyone else have that problem?

Well, I will keep this short since I have to get up for class tomorrow. I will actually have to get up early a lot within the next week or so. All of the budget cuts at work have actually helped me to get some extra hours in, helping another department. That way they don't have to pay extra for someone outside to come in and help; they just use the "resources" they already have.. hence, me. I'm excited about it though. Its something that I have been trying to learn and improve in for a while, and it's a great opportunity. I'm just not looking forward to the reduced hours I will spend behind my lovely little lamb sleep mask! Oh well. Give and take, I guess.

Oh, and I got a lovely new ipod shuffle this weekend. I'm really excited about listening to some actual music instead of all of the just graduated teenie boppers talking about how wasted they got at this monster party this weekend. I. Dont. Care. I will listen to Pink instead. And my painting will be much better, because I will not be frustrated with noise pollution. Excited, I am. Yep yep yep.

RELAX!...?

There aren't enough hours in the day. I know everyone says that, but its true. There's so much I want to do and don't get to. Naturally, my sleep suffers as a result of this....

So, I was talking to a friend, we'll call him D, this evening before I came home, and yawned.

D: You need to get some rest!

Me: I do rest!

D: No, you need to go home, and just watch a movie or something, NOTHING else. That's why your back hurts all the time, cuz you're always doing something else.

Me: huh?

D: Go home, do what you need to on the computer. An hour, tops, that's plenty of time to do what you need to. Then, TURN IT OFF, close it, and put it away. Then just lay back and relax, watch a movie. You might even fall asleep.

Me: ...and do NOTHING else but watch the movie? really? How?

D: Just do it.


(D will probably text me as soon as he reads this, 'THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID!' hehe... Sorry! I'm not very good at memorizing conversations verbatim... but that was pretty much the gist of the conversation, you can at least admit that.)


SO, obviously I haven't done that yet. I'm actually getting pretty close to the hour limit. I am always, always doing something. I'm on the computer, reading a book or magazine, drawing, painting, talking, texting. I literally go crazy just sitting, doing nothing. Mr. can sit and listen to the radio. Why? There aren't any pictures (not like pictures stop me...I can't even sit still through a music video. Maybe I should get that checked out..) but, just sitting, staring at the walls, listening to the radio? There's other things you can do at the same time...virtually anything really.

I've always been that way. Multitasking, keeping busy, whatever you want to call it. When I was younger, I would come home, listen to music, eat a snack, and do my homework, AND talk on the phone sometimes. Hey, it worked for me! I graduated High School with a 4.2 GPA on a weighted scale...

I work in a school, so I get two months off for the summer every year. Which is both good and bad.. good because I love the summer and the time off, bad because I don't get paid. Anyhoo...the most recent summer, just for an example, since I had plenty of time, obviously, I was known to paint the kitchen cabinets and read an entire book in a day, sometimes at the same time.

That's hilarious. D just text me (I can get this verbatim! )"You ain't relaxed, yet huh?" He knows me so well! So I'm going to try it. Relax. Sit. Watch a movie. Do NOTHING ELSE. I wonder how long before I get restless or fall asleep....

Looking towards the future

What a historical day. Well, yesterday, technically. Obama is officially our president. Finally! Inauguration day, for most people is a really exciting day. If I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning, I may have been more enthused myself. I honestly intended on watching the event. I didn't know it started at noon. I saw something about 8pm...so I was planning to watch that. Don't ask. I really thought it started that late. I didn't care about Bush, to be quite honest with you, so I didn't pay attention the last time... and before that, I was too young. Anyhoo... I was sleeping through the whole thing. Hence, I was completely lost when I got to work and everyone was talking about it. How powerful his speech was.... how beautiful the music was... what Michelle was wearing....

It really is exciting. I truly believe that he will make a difference and that change is coming. I do have a question, though. Like I said, I never paid attention before, so don't laugh. Or laugh. I can be pretty unobservant at times. ahem. Anyhoo, is Inauguration always the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. Day? Probably is. I just thought it was a really big coinky-dink the two days were back to back like that. So.... it got me thinking....obviously I'm really behind, because people have been thinking about this forever already. I really should pay better attention sometimes. BUT, I found this video, and I thought it was really touching...If you've already seen it, humor me.

The Undomestic Goddess

I'm not really a housewife. Never really wanted to be. The whole staying at home cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, cooking, and cleaning some more... never reall interested me. I need to get out of the house. Work, do things.... learn things.

Don't get me wrong, I love to cook.... when I have someone to cook FOR. I don't like to cook for just one or two of us, I end up with a lot of leftovers, and I'm not good with leftovers. I don't do dishes, either. I would not mind cleaning everything in the entire house.... including the bathroom before I do the dishes. It's bad. Like, seriously, if someone is willing to come to my house and wash dishes for me, I WILL PAY. Mr.? Don't get me started. "I didn't dirty them, so why should I wash them?" How about you eat the food I fixed in that pot? Sorry. Touchy subject. You know, actually, household chores in this house are such a battle, it's gotten to the point where we do our own laundry. I do mine. He does his. But that's a blog for another day.

So, I actually do love to cook. I'm really good at baking sweets, those are my favorites. Cookies, pies, cakes, brownies, pumpkin rolls. Everyone loves my pumkin rolls for the holidays. I can follow directions in any cookbook really well! As far as dinners and such, there's not much I can do in that area. Sloppy Joes, Tacos, Cheese Dip, burgers, grilled cheese, anything in a box like Hamburger Helper or Mac and Cheese, or the dinner in a box. I'm good at those, too. That's about it. I can't even do meatloaf, which I hear is supposed to be really easy.

So, today, for lunch, I made homemade macaroni and cheese. It was not my first attempt, and it was sort of a success. If by success you mean edible and on a taste factor of 1 to 5 it was a 2.. MAYBE 2.5. The first attempt was a total failure. I followed the recipe... but ... the cheese and the milk didn't really blend together.. and it tasted really funny. Don't ask how you mess up mac and cheese, but I did it. This time, it worked out ok. Perhaps it was just the recipe, but it wasn't the best I've had by a long shot. After cooking the noodles until they were al dente, in another pot I melted the butter, and then whisked in the flour. At this point I was somewhat confused because it had the consistency of cookie dough.

But, of course, I continued to follow the directions on the recipe, feeling exactly how I imagined Samantha Sweeting felt on her first day as a housekeeper in "The Undomestic Goddess" by Sophie Kinsella.




Which, by the way, is a really funny book if you haven't read it. For both the real life undomestic goddesses, or the really domestic goddesses. Imagine a big-time lawyer, overworked and overstressed due to certain circumstances becomes a housemaid. It's a good, funny, summer read. I know it's winter, but, in some parts of the world it feels like summer, so that's good enough for me. Perhaps, like Samantha, I will one day become a domestic goddess. Or perhaps not.

Book-Lovers, Attention, Please!

Fellow Book lovers, please look at this website:

http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/2.The_worst_books_of_all_time

I am quite shocked and offended by this list. Apparently people have voted for the worst books of all time, and some of the books on this list, in my opinion are some of the BEST books of all time! I wonder what the criteria for this list would be. I mean, Twilight, The Notebook, The Fountainhead, The Great Gatsby, Wuthering Heights, A Child Called IT, The Giving Tree, Ender's Game, Island of the Blue Dolphins, The Secret Life of Bees, Little Women, Jane Eyre... just to name a few of the books on this list. So, naturally, after reading this list, I went in search of what these people considered the best books, and this is what I found:

http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/1.Best_Books_Ever

This is where I got confused. The same people made two lists: the best and the worst. The books on both of these lists are virtually the same!!! How much sense does this make? Obviously, they did not want to offend anyone so what I've gathered from this is that they think all books are the best AND the worst of all time. Huh. Riiiight.

So, I have decided to make my own lists!

These are some (read: SOME) of what I consider the BEST books of all time. They do not require much explaination, but all are MUST READS:

1. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks: Makes me cry every time. How beautiful to think that some people really do have a love like this.
2. The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer: (I count a Saga as one) Some of these books are better than others, but all of them together, are wonderful! And this is one of those where you can't get away with just watching the movie. Book: 100% better!
3. The Ultimate Gift by Jim Stovall: The last book given to me by a family friend before she died. A quick read, but good message!
4. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card: I'm not much of a sci-fi person, but this book captivated me, and the ending was awesome!
5. One Child and Tiger's Child by Torey Hayden: Again, these books go together, but these are fictionalized true stories written by someone who works with children who have....difficult lives and how she helps these children.

The next list took a little more consideration. I am a book lover, and it is really hard for me to say a book is bad. These, however, I had THE HARDEST TIME finishing. And was very very glad that I did finish them:

1. Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway: I don't care if it is Hemingway. I don't care if it is metaphorical. I do not care about an old man who goes to take a piss on the side of the road before he goes fishing and has the world's longest cramped hand. No. Thanks.

2. Flatland: A romance of many dimensions by Edwin A. Abbott: A dot, lives in a line. Goes to visit some triangles, squares, octagons... circles. The dot is on the bottom rung of the social ladder, and the octagon and the circles are at the top... and gasp! He meets a sphere one day... and... hey! Wake up! I'm not done!

3. The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards: Slow to start.... slow in the middle... slow at the end. A good story, but hard to get through. Movie was great, though.

4. The Lady and the Unicorn by Tracy Chevalier: I love Tracy Chevalier. I love her other books, this one on the other hand... not one of her best.

5. She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb: This book came out 17 years ago and you can still buy it at Wal-Mart. Why? I don't know. It wasn't AWFUL. But... let's just say.... weird, major!


So.....What are your lists?

Let's get political for a minute.....

So, on the way home this evening, I was listening to Pink's "I'm Not Dead Yet" album.... and heard this song. That's when I realized, that we have four more days, technically, until the Bush administration is out of the White House. Some people have been looking forward to this for eight years. My dad is one of those people.

I LOVE Pink!... And I LOVE people who tell it like it is...

Pink's "Dear Mr.President:"



Looking towards the future now.....

Drama for you: Entertainment for me

I keep to myself at work. I have my own little area, and I take care of my business, and I try not to get into everyone else's business. I like it that way. Correction: I LOVE it that way.

See, we have a new, "big" boss at work.... he's been there maybe two months. Not long at all. My supervisor's boss. Everybody LOVED him when he was first hired. Oh, he's great! He has all of the qualifications and the experience.. blah blah blah. Where was I? In my little corner, watching it all. I know better than to judge someone I barely know. Yeah, sure, anyone can look good on paper. But that doesn't really say much of anything about the person, now does it? So, when people ask "What do you think of him?" What is my response? "I don't know anything about him yet. Wait and see." There really is no other answer to that question.

By now, I am sure you have guessed that in just two short months, this FABULOUS guy that looked so good on paper, doesn't quite meet everyone's high expectations. tsk, tsk....

The most amusing part for me is I saw it all coming so I can sit in my corner and watch the whole thing. I do my job, keep my nose in my own business (aka: no gossip! Listen, but do not, I repeat do NOT tell others what you hear!!) and no one bothers me. That includes big boss. I'm fortunate. There does seem to be quite a dramatic mess with everyone else at work. I'm not trying to be cocky by any means, but, come on, some people just ask for it, I think. They feed on the drama. Good for them. Just don't go complaining that you got burned after you added fuel to the fire. Roast Marshmallows and make s'mores! Make one for me, while you're at it, please? Lightly toasted, not burnt. mmmmmm..... thanks!!

My Favorite Things

In the fourth grade, I had a FANTASTIC teacher. She was one of the best, if not THE best teacher I've had yet.... She taught me a lot in that class. One of my memories of being in her class was "The Sound of Music." The movie quickly became one of my favorites. It still is.
One of my favorite songs in the movie is, "My Favorite Things" sung by Julie Andrews. So, enjoy the song as I share some of my favorite things with you.




Ewoks. I want one. I don't have to explain myself, I just do.

The Twilight Saga. The books, are a MUST-READ! This is not, I repeat NOT something that you can cheat and watch the movie to get the same experience. You'll thank me later.

Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. Every girl should have an Edward and a Jacob.

Ipods. Are. Wonderful. When they feel like working.

Warm and fuzzy stuff. Sweaters, socks, blankets. All great for curling up on a cold winter day to read a really good book.

Purple!! Purple is the new black. Period. Spread the word.

Cheese wedges from O'Charley's. Go. Try. Again, thank me later.

Coconut shrimp from Red Lobster. See above.

Lillies and orchids. I go for the more exotic flowers, personally. No red roses for this girl. Well...maybe sometimes.

Music that makes you want to dance. 'Nuf said.


....These are a FEW of my favorite things... a few of the things that I will be thinking about when I go back to work tomorrow... wish me luck!

Holidays

Have you had a fantastic holiday season this year? I know I have.

I don't really have a good reason for not blogging in the past week because I got a brand new laptop for Christmas, and I have been loving it!!! I love it!! Yes, I am using right now to type this blog, of course. I haven't even touched the desktop since I got this one. Well, once, but only to set up the wireless router. I love having my own computer to personalize, use any time I need... has MY music on it.... its awesome!

I also got a Nintendo DS, which is pretty cool too. I'm a dork because the two games I asked for were Brain Age and a word game. I don't care. It's fun. As of today, my brain age is 22, by the way, just so you know. That's my actual age minus two! That means I'm kind of smart. Just a little bit, though, I think.

So, of course, since today is New Year's Day, we must reflect on the past year and anticipate the upcoming year, and how we will improve ourselves and our lives this year. Must we?

Oh, I guess we could talk about it for a little bit. Last year went by so quickly!!! I can barely separate last year from 2007... and its 2009 now. It all starts to blur together. Well, how about next year? I could say I'll lose 50 pounds in a month, or I'll raise my credit score by 100 points, or I won't say a single curse word, or any number of ridiculous expectations or resolutions that both you and I know are complete lies. Instead let's say ... I'll drink more water? Which right now is virtually none, so that's not really hard to do. Or eat more fruits and vegetables? Again, not hard to do. One problem with resolutions is most people do really well in January. Febuary, not too bad until they get chocolates for Valentine's day.... and by Easter, New Year's resolutions are completely forgotten. So why not just say my January resolution will be....to eat more salads. Let's go even further and try to do something every month! If you try to do one little thing every day for a month, it might or might not last the year, but you're more likely to last the month. And, if you set smaller goals for each month instead one big one, you're more likely to accomplish something. So, let's start the year with January. For the month of January, I will drink more water.