I don't wanna grow up....

I have an interview. In the morning. I just found out this afternoon. Normally I don't tell ANYONE until I actually get the job. I tell myself its to avoid jinxing myself, but truly its just to avoid embarrassment if I don't get the job. This time... I don't know if I even want the job. I love my job now. No, I don't see myself working in this exact position for 30 years, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to leave yet. I work second shift now, the job is first shift. My husband works third. I am a night owl, not an early bird. I love the kids I work with now. The job I applied for is a T.A. ; and part of the reason I even applied in the first place was because of my mother.

Ah, yes, we've brought out the family card. Now there's a can of worms you DON'T want to tackle. But take it or leave it, its part of me.

So, every time a job opening comes open, especially one first shift she makes sure to let me know. And asks me every time we talk if I've applied yet. Now, this is entirely my fault that I let this go on (because I'm chicken shit but let's not get into that today) and I've told her about a Special Education program that is offered in our town starting next year. The classes are offered at night. See the connection? I can take classes in another town during the day, but it is a 45 minute commute, one way.

Here's the other problem. Everyone (parents and friends) seems to want me to go into education and become a teacher. Both of my parents are teachers. A very dear friend of mine who passed away last year, saw a lot of her younger self in me. Her dream was to become a teacher and she never reached that goal. Thus, she wanted me to become a teacher. I guess that all of these people probably think it is my dream to become a teacher. I'm not so sure that is true. Honestly, I don't know what I want to do exactly. I just know I want to get my Bachelor's degree. Soon. If I keep going in Special Education, I should have a little over a year left to graduate.

My problem is I want to do it all. Why pick just one thing? Here is what I have narrowed it down to: Art, Art therapy, photography, interior design, interpreting, wedding planning, child therapy....This is just a brief list of things that I am interested in, in no particular order. If I dedicate one day a week to each of these, I'll get to do everything I love! In a perfect world, right?

Back to the original problem... and my temporary solution. I interview tomorrow. Just because I interview, doesn't mean I get the job... and just because they offer me the job doesn't mean I have to take the job. So, technically I still have some time to think it through....