Don't color outside the lines!

I was totally blank yesterday. I was all ready to write. I wanted to write. I had the screen up and ready... nothing. NOTHING came to mind. Well... kind of. Its hard to tell if I have so many things floating around in my pretty little head that I've blocked them all out, or if I'm really an airhead and there is nothing there. Ever have that problem? Anyway I ended up sitting there, looking at the computer screen for like two hours.



So, I went looking for something to talk about. (Meanwhile my friend probably thinks I'm a complete lunatic for staring at the computer screen forever. ) I ran across an archive in one of my favorite blogs (Clever Girl Goes Blog) and got an idea. Its one of those photobucket quizzes you see everywhere. I thought it was a good idea since I couln't think of anything to say, and "a picture is worth a thousand words." But then I realized it would take me forever because I would like to look at all the pictures and then pick the one I like best.... so I decided to do it another rainy day. After all of that... I ended up with nothing. Obviously.



Today, is another story. I actually have something to talk about today if you couldn't tell already.

And I froze. For like 30 minutes. I said I had something to talk about then nothing. How sad is that? I had the same problem at work this afternoon, too. Ok, let me back up and start at the beginning. So, I moved to a new area this year and the people who occupied the space before me took literally everything out, so I had a blank canvas to start with. Pretty cool, right? So, we got a little here and there, its a work in progress and we're poor. So it was looking kind of "just got out of college and got my first place so I have some hand me down furniture and a bunch of mis-matched things from yard sales and thrift-shops"-esque. It wasn't the Ritz-Carlton, but it was cute. Like I said, a work in progress.

Anyhoo.

My boss requested to have some furniture moved from another building (that no one is using) to our area...and the request was denied. GRRR. Back to the drawing board. So, while I was off over the weekend, apparently we had some visitors.... and the visitors made some comments about how the place looked. So, the big wigs got mad, then my boss got mad, and eventually I was mad too. Lovely. So after the big wigs got mad, my boss went out and bought some stuff (think: the 70's, lace, frou frou, cheap halloween decorations and floral prints) and went into my area and moved stuff around and redecorated. That, by itself made me mad. I hate for people to move my stuff around. It looked, (excuse me, looks) like a nursing home. I don't work in a nursing home. Wondermus.

So, I moved a couple things back. Then my boss came in and chewed me out... I held it together until after she left then I lost it and cried. A moment of weakness, I know, but unless you were there you can't judge me. It goes without saying that my area still looks like a nursing home... and I can't do anything about it. It is, literally, driving me crazy. I feel oppressed. I'm suffocating. It's awful. All of this has ultimately resulted in a complete block of all creativity. I realize that I should probably talk to my boss about this, but I haven't worked up the guts yet. I know I didn't deserve to be spoken to like that, and it has been several years since a supervisor has made me feel that way. I guess the way my mind works, the limitations set on how I am allowed to place my furniture has transferred to limiting how I am allowed to express my ideas.

Is it crazy to think all of this has carried over to my little blog, causing me to limit my creativity here, too?