I am a walking contradiction..

I love to recieve gift cards. Gift cards are awesome, if they are for the right location. Its like a mini shopping spree, its great! BUT, I don't like to give gift cards. They don't really show that the person put much thought into the gift. I don't like to give gift cards unless I am SURE that it is to a place that they love, and that they need and will use it. There is one exception, though. More than I love to get gift cards, I LOVE surprises. And I love to get a great gift from someone who obviously put a lot of thought into me and the gift. My dad did a fabulous job of this last year!

Keeping that in mind, I make things extremely difficult on myself during the holidays. I love to give gifts that show people that I thought about them. I love to make things for people, to show them I put time and effort into something just for them. I am a perfectionist, so I want things to be just right. For example, I am drawing a picture of Marilyn Monroe, one of my sister's favorite people, for her for Christmas. I have drawn 3 Marilyns so far. I am not satisfied with any of these...I may draw a few more... who knows? She may or may not be just as happy with a gift card to Best Buy. One thing about making gifts for people, also, is the price factor. Obviously.

So during the holidays, I scour the stores for the perfect gift for someone. Usually its not something specific I have in mind for someone, but when I see something it just jumps out at me, and screams that person's name: "HELLO! WOULDN'T I LOOK JUST PERFECT IN YOUR DAD'S HOUSE?" That hasn't really happened this year. That's why, at two days before Christmas, I have five unfinished homemade gifts, and maybe three or four gifts that I need to get for people. I know I don't have to put myself through this. I can go down to Fatz or Target and get gift cards and be done with it. I WANT TO. I want to do this. So, I can't really complain. My loved ones who put up with me during this time of year? Bless you.

I stress myself out for weeks, ( because for some reason Christmas still seems like 6 months away at Thanksgiving .. oh, I have plenty of time... right) for what? For the look on that person's face when they open their gift. Because, hopefully, if I did it right, they will know that no matter what it cost, I cared to put time and effort into their gift. And they will just LOVE it. (In a perfect world.) But then, it will all be worth it. I don't care what I get, really. That small heartfelt smile on that one single day out of the year. That's what the craziness is all for. That's all I want.